I started typing "mrsge" in my browser window just now and I actually had to finish writing the whole long address, because Internet Explorer has forgotten how to get to my blog. Perhaps it has been too long since I last wrote...
A lot has happened, too. I've had a great two weeks off from school, celebrating Jesus' birth and enjoying the family and friends that God has blessed me with. It's been a little stressful, too. I can't lie. Although hosting and gathering are great fun and wonderfully fulfilling for me, they also require planning and hard work. But it's been a different kind of hard work from school, so I have enjoyed it.
For the first week of break, I didn't want to talk about school at all and I made it my highest priority to enjoy every minute of being off. As this week has progressed, those feelings have intensified and I've become nervous about next week. I enjoy this freedom so much and it seems like there is so much work that needs to be done here at home, let alone at school.
Today has been better. I looked over lesson plans that I have written, analyzed some scoring data and wrote out Daily Reports. All seems well and I think I can swing back into it pretty easily. It's whether or not it will be any fun...
Ross and I have had countless conversations lately (literally, it seems like its an underlying ongoing conversation) about school and about the disappointment and "let-down" that I have felt this past semester. I've wanted to teach since I was in kindergarten and 17 years is quite a long time to develop expectations and dreams. Unfortunately, it only takes 17 weeks to deflate them...
While I am somewhat eager to go back to school, to see how much the kids have grown and to see them through to the end, I must admit that the magic is gone. My eyes are no longer blinded. This is a rough job that not everyone can do.
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But for some reason, roughness and all I know I was called to it. Although it seems like this dream has brought more sadness than joy, it is where God wants me to be at this moment. So my New Year's Resolution regarding school is to enjoy it-- to find every little morsel of hope, joy and growth and to embrace it-- to see God at work in me.
Each new year, my grandmother asks the LORD to give her a verse for each of our family members. She then writes them down and gives them to us. It is a special keepsake for the year, to look upon the verse, reflect on it and see how God is working that truth in our lives. I will end this post with my verse for 2009. Please reflect on how God is going to work this truth in your life as well.
Jeremiah 32:27
"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"
No God. Not even school : )
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2 comments:
From what I've seen, for the most part you've spent the last 17 weeks trying to undo 6 years of abuse and neglect. Will the next 17 weeks be any easier? Maybe not, but those kids are a LOT better off than they were, just knowing that someone loves them and cares enough about them to try. You are making a HUGE difference! Will they all be perfect little 1st graders by the time the school year is through? Nope, but that's not the ultimate goal. All you can do is try to get them on the path to being life-long learners, and they're a WHOLE LOT closer than they were. I've never seen anyone try harder to get through than you, and I'm very proud of you!
Thanks, Daddy. I needed to hear that : )
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